Urquart's death
by Aceite y Agua
Summary: About Minerva McGonagall as a merry widow in a horrifying funeral. An Albus Dumbledore as her worst nightmare.
1. Chapter 1

"You are marrying." Minerva McGonagall could hear Albus Dumbledore's heart breaking with that sentence.

"That was your idea." She replied a little hurt. He looked at her for a couple of seconds and the thing was that, by now... he was almost about to die. They have such a long story and they've been partially together for such a long time...

"D-Do you love him?" he hesitated.

"Are we going to discuss this again?"

He sighed, and was honestly unable to answer her. She did love HIM, and he... wanted so, SO much to kill him. It was the best, for her. But... he still couldn't stand the idea.

She glanced him and he couldn't look back- So... no more talks in the middle of the night or occasional intimacy, or love. She was going to stop loving him. And going with him. Spending time with him.

"Why are you asking me this again?"

"I... I... " he whispered and crawled into safe place inside his mind to talk with his imaginary best friend Gellert Grindelwald inside there.

«She IS leaving... me»

《Yes, and this is your fault》

«It is the best for her, but I...»

《And we always knew that she was going to do it sooner or later."

«But... I can't...»

《You should. Why did you let her be so close at first."

«She earned it... and she is... i-I am... i... »

"Do you love him or not?" He asked so, SO COLD. He did not want her to love him. Not a single bit. He hated the idea and felt so... scared of feeling her loving someone else, although he had to... he had to let her go. There've been at least thirty years... she needed to leave.

"What do you want me to say, Albus?" She looked him at the eye.

"That you do" Of all the things in the world, one he could not do was... to actually look her back.

"No, you don't want me to say that. Any possible answer is wrong at this point."

"Then I understand that you want me to say congratulations..." he murmured.

"Don't be cynical!"

"Me?" he raised his eyebrows.

"Yes, you. Maybe is YOU who want ME to say congratulations." She crossed arms.

"This... is probably the most clever decision you've taken... though, I can feel at this precise moment, that it is not going to be an easy one."

"Yes, congratulations, you are a genious and therefore you have a genious ideas." She glanced him.

"And you listen to me and follow through..." he returned to the piece of parchment he was holding on his hands, trying to calm down. "When is the... event?"

"We haven't decided it yet. But you know that there is not option that my father's church."

He sighed, thinking on that conversation between the two of them. And her father. And the church. He reminded himself once again that nothing of this was his to take, and had never been... but. BUT. He felt like he was loosing something too big.

"A-Am I going to be invited?" he managed to ask, and looked at her again.

"Are you going to come?"

"If you invite me and not him... yes."

"Not him?"

"Well, I think you and him would invite me for different things, and the only question that matters here is... do you want me there?"

"What do you think?" She stared him in the eye again for a few quiet seconds.

"It... will be difficult" he admitted in a different, less bitter tone. And his voice cracked a bit, just for a second, before he could recompose himself. "For both of us. I don't want to ruin that that for you as I have already... done with others. I just... I-I can't, Minerva... think of not being there in such an important day for you."

"Think on being there in that day. What are you going to do? Stay hidding in the crowd? Come and look me in the eyes and hold my hand? Come and kiss me a last time before I go?"

He... stared down, to his parchment.

"I want you there. And I don't want you there at the same time, because the problem is that I don't want me there."

Trust me, he doesn't want you there either... at ALL.

"Maybe could you go in my place" she tried to joke a little. He smiled softly and it took all his might to stop himself telling her that maybe the one that should not go at all was Urquart...

She also looked at her feet and sighed, thinking in all of this,

"It is the best for you... somehow" he whispered.

"Please, don't start again."

He sighed.

"You are... going to keep coming, right?" he asked in a whisper.

"I'm going to be working here, am I not?"

"You are, aren't you?" He looked at her again and I'm sure he had never looked so frail and old in all his life.

"I don't know, maybe you will fire me"

"Don't be ridiculous, Minerva. It's easier that I retire"

"Maybe we will have enough with his salary." She shrugged.

"Are you giving me a first warning?"

"Could be..." she smiled a little.

"Don't be mean..." he smiled too and moved his hand on his desk towards her.

"Am I the mean one?"

"Yes... I'm just an old fool" he said that genuinely and sincerely.

She glared him smiling a little.

He smiled back, although he was everything but happy. He was a fool for letting her go. He should NOT let her go, and we knew he was going to regret this.

The world was free, Voldemort had vanished, Harry was in the safest possible place. Why wouldn't he allow himself to be happy and just... be with her for a little bit? He was not sure. She was never going to be happy with him.

"Well... I just came to explain you that."

"D-Do you have to leave now?"

No, but I know what's going to happen if I stay... she thought. Yes. It is going to be harder to leave tomorrow...

"Yes."

He sighed again.

"If I have to do this is better that way." She explained.

"I happen to disagree, my dear."

"Why?"

"I just think this is..." He smiled softly."In other moment you would have stayed"

"Yes."

"I guess this is how things are going to work from now on."

"Y-Yes..."

He pressed his lips on a thin line and she looked away, because this was also difficult for her.

"I understand... and I'm sorry" he whispered. Minerva swallowed and... finally stood up."A-A... game of chess?" he tried to stop her once again kind of begging.

"N-no." Also she was begging.

"Alright, alright" he nodded and stood up too. She glanced at him with a sad look and he went around his desk to get closer to her.

She stood there without being able to move and he reached out to her and hugged her.

"Albus..." she almost cried. He hid himself on her neck and caressed her back softly. She started to shake a little, trying to not hug him in return. "Please... if you want me to go, let me go."

"I don't..:." he whispered softly.

"Then I'm not going to marry him, this is absurd!"

"It is, but you have to..."

"I don't have to, I love you and you love me!"

"I know... there are a lot of important things besides love" He kissed her neck softly

"Like what?"

"Like... safety. I'm bad at that, Minerva"

"Nothing is happening that justifies this!"

"But It will... It was close last time" he moved her hair and looked at her in the eye... he was way too close. She shook her head again and he kissed her cheek."I-I..." he continued... and he had done this so many times, so MANY times, he knew the path by heart.

She kissed him in the lips. I still don't know how on earth she got married. Maybe this happened a couple of times before she ACTUALLY got married. He kissed her back, of COURSE he did. After some seconds she separated.

"Do you hate me?"

"I'm not going to marry him, I'm going to write him in the morning." Poor Urquart... at least he has a castle.

Yes... I'm sorry, but you will have to be the harsh one, Albus. He hates it... but it seems there is no other option.

"No..." he whispered, hating this and himself... this was both brave and coward at the same time.

"Yes. This is ridiculous!"

"It is not. You have to go with him... and forget me."

"This makes no sense!"

"It makes a lot of sense... Minerva, I'm bad for you. He is... he is younger than me, he won't drop dead at any one time, he is of... lower profile. He is a better option. You have to be smart."

She squeezed her eyes because this wasn't the first time they have that conversation.

"I love you very much to... let you do this. Even if you hate me for that... maybe that is what I deserved on the first place" He continued.

"You are such an idiot!" She complained.

"I am..." He looked at her in the eye and smiled sadly.

"Let me go."

"I-I... I'll try..."

"I don't have enough with a try. This is your last chance."

"Maybe i-It is time" He looked at her in the eye and this is so fucking hard!

She glared him. He looked back, scared with the idea.

"Good afternoon, professor Dumbledore" she said in a cold as ice tone.

He doesn't want to do this and hates me and JKR and Minerva went right to the door and to the highlands to have frustration's sex with his new fiancée.

She effectively froze him and his heart... or that he thought until she left the room and he collapsed on his chair, sobbing. And this is not even the wedding.

You don't even see her with her mother's dress, her a little combed hair in a braid and her too much sobber make up, shoes and bouquet of flowers yet.

Urquart is feeling a bit worried.

Why? Does he feel some... murder sensation?

Yes! A tingling on his neck.

His brother kept saying; "don't get married"

I'm sorry for Aberforth because he'll have two awful, AWFUL years.


	2. Chapter 2

But there she was... walking... faster than the music because she was nervous and she doesn't care about those details anyways. And she is going to look at him for a fraction of a second in the crowd even if she was trying to avoid it. She squezzed her eyes stoping for a moment in her walk.

Albus was gone by then. At least, he blended in with the crowd and Urquart was looking at her smiling, though, so nervous and relieved dressed in his beautiful kilt with a sober gray jacket.

Her mother squeezed her eyes and made a gesture to her to keep walking but Minerva was paralyzed, looking at Elphinstone because she still didn't know what she was doing with her life and why was walking straight to him.

He smiled at her reassuringly because... he knew. He knew that maybe she didn't love him as she loved Albus, but he also knew that they could be happy.

And she looked him a little overwhelmed.

Elphinstone sighed softly and waited patiently, as he had ever done, trying not to scare her but at the same time, but to maintain eye to eye contact.

Finally she tried to contain herself and a little urge of cry, walking again.

"Hello..." Urquart smiled softly when she got there. Really, REALLY, I don't know how isn't Albus going to stop the wedding.

Minerva looked her feet and said nothing. And it is always a weird feeling, when, to marry someone a bit forcefully.

"It is going to be alright, Minerva..."

She nodded with her head, she also nodded when her father asked if she accepted him as a husband.

Dear lord with this. Can Dumbledore die now? Snape? Where the heck are you.

And then comes the dinner and the dance.

Was she ok by then?

No, but she was better.

Urquart kept smiling her and let her be... on her own. Not forcing her to take his hand or anything like that.

Thank you. Anyways she is your wife finally.

Yes, she is. And she will be happy with him... Until... murder set them apart. I mean death.

Yes, well, come on. It won't be so dramatic everyday. Anyway... was he... HE going to talk with her or dance with her or... something?

Is she going to say yes?

I don't know. Maybe... after a couple of dances, he appeared again among the crowd.

If you thought, Minerva, that he couldn't be... invisible. In a way of not actually getting attention you will learn today that he is more than capable of doing it.

She knows that he can.

So Albus appeared suddenly, just when Urquart had told her that we was going to get them water... well and whiskey for Minerva and her heart stopped for a second.

He smiled to her a bit.

"It took too long for him to leave. Will you dance with me... "

"Y-You..."

"Where else could I be?"

"He will come back."

"When he returns... I'll leave"

She sighed.

"Please... just one dance" he whispered.

"Ok... ok."

He took her hand, and looked at her in the eye and she looked even sadder.

"Can I make a silly joke or did I lose my cuteness forever?"

She closed her eyes and smiled a little and his relief was obvious-

"So?"

"Another silly joke?"

"I prefer it than what I was thinking."

"Oh, what were you thinking" he swished and swirled with her.

"Bad thoughts."

"Like What?"

"Like... that this is the first wedding that I didn't come with you."

He chuckled.

"Well it seems that you are off the hook with that... you don't need to be embarrassed by me in the next wedding."

She sighed.

"I have to confess that a wedding doesn't seem a wedding until I dance with you. So thank you for coming and making it real."

He chuckled again.

"It was pretty real for me."

"Lucky you."

"I think you are really brave" To be honest, he didn't think you would really do it.

"Why?"

He squeezed her hand, not daring to respond.

"I just realized I'm going to have to stop going to weddings..."

"You don't need me to go to a wedding. You don't need me for anything."

He chuckled yet again but she didn't.

"I don't feel brave in any way" She added.

"You are going to find a way to be happy without me"

"I know. This is easy, and comfortable and he loves me and... he is really excited and happy with this."

He sighed thinking that probably he was not going to find the way to the bathroom inside his office without her organizing the papers around. He needed her to have a normal life... and also he enjoyed her company.

"You will get used to all these things that now seem different and unknown... and at some point..." He was telling that more to himself.

"I know."

He sighed. At some point she was going to stop loving him and completely love Urquart. Yes. That's the plan.

"Will you still play chess with me... eventually?"

She sighed.

"Are you going to read the articles that I show you, and laugh of my jokes? Will you still be my... friend?"

"I don't think that I'm going to have time to play chess."

"Maybe if you stop doing the teacher schedules..."

"I'm not going to stop that."

"But our weekly chess game..."At this moment you can start realizing that you still have a problem, Minerva.

"Well... I will have to stay at home, with my husband, trying to get pregnant and making haggis as a selfless and devout wife."

"You are not going to do that..."

"Do you think that he expect anything else?"

"I think he knows you... "

"I think that I don't even know what are we going to talk about now that he has what he ever wanted since I was working with him."

"You'll find things... he is an interesting man and you an interesting woman. You'll be happy, Minerva, I'm sure."

She licked her lips and... added nothing because she prefered not argue today, here. He was, for sure, much more worried about himself, because the pain was not going anywhere, and he was starting to fear that this was THE MISTAKE of his life.

"Maybe you are right"

"I usually am..." he whispered, quite gloomily. She rolled eyes and he smiled, softly."Aberforth..." he started, then stopped, hesitating.

"Yes?"

He had said so many different things, it was still painful. Probably to Albus himself, for being stupid...Dumbledore licked his lips.

"He said congratulations..."

"Oh... I can imagine. Please say... thank you to him."

He sighed and nodded.

"Minerva, I..."

She stared him in the eyes, intensely.

"Albus? Oh! I had not seen you!" yes, Elphinstone interrupted them both, smiling a bit worryingly and Minerva let go an uncontrolable "bloody hell".

Dumbledore stopped dancing, blushing a bit to the man he had kind of willingly, given the woman he loved... and he had to interrupt them both like this?

"Urquart... congratulations" Dumbledore seemed specially menacing and scary. Minerva looked at them both. If Urquart noticed that or not, we will never know. He just placed a Whiskey on Minerva's hand, smiling

"I'm so glad you are here... I think Minerva wanted you here"

And she felt more relieved to see that red-haired than see anyone else. Drinking it at if it was water on the desert. Sorry, boys it was not personal.

Urquart knows and actually, Dumbledore knows too, but Urquart knew better

"Yes... yes" she said, vaguely, when she stopped kissing her whiskey. Dumbledore smiled again, and sighed again.

"Well... I am going to have to leave..." he stated and Minerva drank even more.

"Oh! So early? Come on, I'm sure you can stay for a longer time... we have drinks and food and I'm sure more than one lady would love to dance with the famous Albus Dumbledore"

Minerva glared Elphinstone because it sounded rude. He smiled and blushed, shrugging

"Let him do whatever he wants, if he has things to do."

Dumbledore looked at her... because it was obvious he didn't have to DO something besides go and... sulk. But she didn't want you here suffering in excess.

"I just came by to say congratulations..." he nodded and, his eyes became brighter.

"Thank you" Minerva sighed.

Albus smiled and... he didn't want to go at all, at least not without her. But he knew, that this was the best for her, somehow, even if it hurt like an arrow on his heart.

"I will see you at school... " he mumbled. She licked her lips and... nodded and then he turned around again and... he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

Albus got to the funeral quite late once it has started. He tried to get there earlier but... a thing happened, then another, and in the end he... just apparated like... in the bathroom scaring the shit out of one of Minerva's aunts having to delete a second of her memory.

Minerva was with Elphinstone brother and family, in strict black, without crying, but very very serious and sad.

Dumbledore got out of the bathroom, sighed, and went to find her in his bright pink clothes. He was serious and surprisingly sad.

Was he? He was wearing bloody pink!

Do you want him to stay in pink? Maybe he will until Minerva looks at him and freezes him with her eyes.

It... could happen. Nobody would believe you if you wear pink. Try with dark grey or... blue... or green at least.

Why not? It's the 80s!

But this is a funeral! Show a little respect.

He was not in the funeral when he decided the color in the morning!

But he knew he was going to come!

He got closer to her and every single person in the room looked at him.

She was paralized, looking at him.

"What happened?" he urged her to tell him.

"W-Well..."

"Minerva... "

"You can figure it." She looked him, rigid

"I can't, Merlin, I just received the news! I was abroad doing some research and Fawkes... how are you?"

"Well... not very well."

"I-I can... how... how?!" he sat next to her.

"It was an accident, with a plant."

"But that's... so unlike. My dear" he took her hand.

"It's awful..."

"It is terrible" he hugged her.

"Thank you" she hugged him back and she almost die because he smells very good.

Missed him?

No! Well... yes. But very little!

He buried his nose on her hair. Don't believe he has not missed her. He has missed her VERY MUCH.

Ugh! Ok, ok... also her.

"Are you alright?" He whispered on her ear.

"No..."

"I'm so, so sorry. I didn't meant this to happen. I didn't plan things this way." Because this... THIS was out of his plans completely. Urquart had to be the reliable one!

She sequezzed him a bit more in the hug.

"He was... NOT supposed to do this, I wanted him to... be, with you, even after I died"

"I promise you that he didn't die to bother you" she frowned looking at him. He sighed.

"I know... it just made the whole thing... different in perspective" He caressed her cheek.

She squezzed her eyes because she still hated the idea of him manipulating all her life and taking the decisions for her.

"I've been an idiot."

"This wasn't your fault."

"But other things have been."

"No one cares now about the other things."

"Will you forgive me?"

"Forgive what?"

"You know what."

"No, I don't."

He sighed, maybe... she didn't love him anymore, and he thought that everything was... as part of his original plan. She held his look.

"Am I being inappropriate?"

"Not yet, but you are close."

"My apologies, Minerva... I usually have more time to try and be nicer." He smiled softly and blushed just a bit.

"Mmm, it's ok."

"It just took me by surprise and... " he looked at her sideways. "What are you going to do now?"

"It took all of us by surprise... I don't know."

"Did you find him?" He squeezed her hand.

"No..." she looked to the floor.

"Well, that's... good. That's good" Albus, you still don't sound convincing at all. You sound... Ugh, happy.

"Yes... that's better." She lglanced him again.

"You can come back to the school if that is what you wish... as you know, your room is still empty."

She stared at him for a few seconds.

"You don't have to decide... I just think your house could be overwhelming" and your bed as cold as mine has been for the las two years. STOP!

"I... I don't know" she said because yes, she also wanted to go and... forget all of this but... it didn't seem... He smiled and Pomona got is to them.

"Ehm. Minerva?"

She looked at her as if she were a ghost.

"Oh, Pomona. I'm glad you're here!" Albus seemed so relieved. "Can you... send a message to the castle?"

"A message?"

"Yes... just to let the elves know to get Minerva's room ready... for whenever she's ready."

Minerva looked her feet and blushed a little because she wasn't thinking on return to HER ROOM strictly and then scolded herself squeezing her eyes.

You are not... or you are it not forever. Sorry. Pomona cleared her throat.

"Al... right... "

"Pomona, wait... there is no hurry" Minerva answered.

"Are you going to return?" She smiled and went to hug her. "Merlin, I'm SO happy"

"No, no... I don't know, I don't know."

"I've missed you so much! What are you going to do all alone in Hogsmeade?"

"J-Just... I... "

"Take your time, my love, take your time" Dumbledore smiled softly

Minerva stared at him with that 《my love》.

He smiled and she frowned glaring at him.

He stopped smiling, scolded and Pomona diligently went to send the message to the castle.

Minerva sighed.

"Do you hate me?"

"Yes."

"I hate me too just a bit... I don't hate you."

"That's because you deserve it."

"I do..." he whispered squeezing his eyes shut. "I do. And... if I only could..."

"What?" She looked at him aggressively as saying 《come on, dare to say it. Dare to say that you would take his place.》

"I just think..." He looked at her sideways and then to his hands

"Aha?"

"That I am happy it wasn't you"

She looked at him because... well, that was a little better.

"I incorrectly understood for a moment that it was you... and I... I... "

"What?"

"I'm so relieved... "

"Well... thank you."

He looked at her sideways

"Aheight! Height! It is not true, I didn't think it was you, but I AM relieved!"

"Albus!" She warned him

"I'm just trying to be nice!"

"Well, it's enough. Thank you."

"Alright, alright. Seriously... is there anything I can do for you?"

《Don't make me feel or look as the merry widow》 thought by herself.

He looked at her directly into her eyes in that deep way... A if he wanted to read her mind.

"No..." she said looking at her feet

"I'm not leaving if that is what you are implying" He sighed deeply.

"No, no... you could stay until... whenever you want."

"Until... What were you going to say?"

"Until you want to go." She said because she didn't dare to say, until everybody else was gone and... just was me and my loneliness.

"What if I... don't"

"Then you will stay here alone."

"It looks cozy..."

"I'm glad you like it." She sighed because she was not in the mood for his jokes.

"Your sarcasms... is quite heavy my dear"

"Your coments..."

"I don't know what you're thinking, I'm clearly not... going that fast!" He looked at her sideways. "This is really a weird conversation to have at this moment... I just... I'm sure I can do a few things for you if you let me be useful!"

"Like what?"

"Like help you with administrative things or help you pack... deal with your in laws. I know I can be difficult at times but I can honestly give you a hand. What exactly do you need?"

"You, don't get offended, are a mess in all of these things."

"I know, but this is a special situation. Maybe... what you need me to do is to sit there and be quiet."

"Yes. And you could do it in the school, so we won't have so much work when I will return."

"I understand" He sighed and nodded softly.

"Thank you" she nodded, knowing that she was going to regret this, especially when everybody would be gone, but... no. It had to change, she wasn't the witch that she was two years ago. He looked at her, sideways.

"I will discreetly leave, then... I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you."

He squeezed his eyes shut and... stood up. She looked him sideways. He changed his clothes to black and sat again.

"I just realized I was dressed in my new robes... I cannot discreetly leave that way"

"You can't do anything discreetly anyway."

"I can, come on, Minerva... give me a little credit for something. I know it is not a great day but..."

"Well, see you." She sighed. He sighed too.

"See you..." he moved his arm, and in a second, he was not there anymore.

She squezzed her eyes, sighed again and went right to beg Pomona to stay with her because she didn't want to be alone but it wasn't the same if Pomona was who stay.

Of course, Pomona said yes. And she stood there, for... a couple of weeks maybe or until Minerva would kill her and she returns to the school also hysterical.


	4. Chapter 4

Albus... is going to go again after a few days, specially if she doesn't appear again. He will go one afternoon and knock her door of her house because she cannot hide there forever!

He was just there... Smiling a bit, on a Thursday. The day they had been playing chess for the last million years.

She was coming home from the store. He blinked. Store? That was so... weird for him.

"Oh! You are here!" He smiled at her when he saw her walking towards the house.

"Oh... what are you..."

"I... came to visit you"

"Oh... hum... hello."

"I... brought the chess board"

"So... do you want to come in?"

"I... do. Yes. If you want me to."

She opened the door and let her levitating bags from the Hogsmead grocery store come in first until they got kitchen.

He entered behind her, looking around remembering the last time that he was there in her birthday.

"Are you hungry or want something to drink?"

"Do you want a little whiskey with me?"

"It's in the living room, would you mind serving it?"

"No... not at all. How... have you been doing. Pomona told me a few things..."

"I'm... surviving. Pomona helped me a lot, but it's better if she live in the castle."

"I still think that you don't need to... keep living here"

"Give me a minute, I have to store the groceries."

"I can help you... I love doing that, Aberforth hates it" he smiled almost jumping into the kitchen.

"Because you store them wherever you want and after that it's impossible to find them."

"It is not with an accio!"

"Some people prefer not break everything in the way of whatever they were finding"

"It is not that, I store things in the most logical place."

"Well, serve the drinks and then come to help me."

"Ahright, ahright."

She looked him sideways... and remembered doing that with Elphinstone, for a second her eyes got a little while she hurried to store everything.

Pat, pat. Albus served the whiskey feeling a bit as a stranger there.

Well, you are. An intruder in a life that wasn't his. But it could have been. If he only had... not been a coward.

He had two years to adapt to this situation and... when he was finally getting used to the Minerva on his head, and to have... no one... this situation had taken him off balance.

And he didn't know at all what to do. He wanted... to have time with her and get back to normal and... she, of course, was not alright. And he was not doing things as he should have.

And he was the ONLY ONE he could blame for that.

She... didn't know what to feel. She was glad to have him here alone, without her unbearable brother in law and the Urquart family.

They never made her feel as she was really part of the family, they didn't see with good eyes that she didn't take her husband's surname, for example.

And they didn't dare to say it out loud, but she knew that they gossiped about her having Albus as a lover even if she did everything on her hands to stop the innuendos.

For example come to live here with him even if she had to clean the house and cook by herself. And even if that deeeeply offended Albus and made him not talk to her for a couple of... hours.

She never noticed that, but it wasn't better the last days since he passed away.

But... here was he. Being nice and sweet as he always did... and nobody else seemed to remember how to do it. And... she was glad because she wanted to talk with him about this... about the future... about they without the looking of her family in law.

"So... surviving, huh" he smiled softly at the door, holding the two glasses of whiskey, one on each hand. "I'm sure you miss him... and I tried very hard to give you space... "

"Five days is your idea of very hard..."

"It... only five? I'm sure I waited for at least three weeks... or months... or two years..." he smiled. She rolled eyes, ending with her things. "Here..."

"What?"

"Your whiskey. I froze the glass it as you like it."

She closed her eyes because... Elphinstone never learned how to do it properly. He touched her fingers when he gave her the glass

"Are you alright?"

She stared him right in the eye, holding his look and... didn't separate her fingers from his touch.

He took a small step closer to her while she stare him and, to be honest, this was some sort of a rhetorical question. He knew she wasn't ok, and he did NOT want to take advantage of the situation.

"I'm... better."

"That is not enough" he whispered. "Please talk to me."

"What do you want me to say?"

"What do you need to say?"

"I..."

He caressed softly her fingers and she hestiated when her heart rate raised.

"Yes, talk to me..."

"What's going to happen now?"

"I expect you to return to the castle... soon."

"And then?"

"Then" he paused. She sighed after a few seconds."I don't think I will survive this to happen again..." he confessed.

She raised her eyebrows.

"O-Oh... I... I understand" she looked at her feet, feeling let down.

"«This» being... pushing you to love someone else and standing there watching as you slowly leave... " he added. "Me."

She glanced him again.

"I overestimated myself" THE phrase of the century. She raised her eyebrows even more."What about you, what do you want?"

"I... don't know any other man interested, anyways."

He looked at her intensely for just a couple of seconds and then looked down. He sipped his glass.

"If that's the reason..."

"What?"

"I do know other people... who's interested... but..."

"Excuse me?"

"In you!"

"Yes, that's what I understood."

"Could we, Please, forget about... other people? Or are they absolutely crucial to have this conversation?"

"You are the one who is saying..."

"Because you said that the problem was that you didn't know anyone else."

"Well, because I didn't know and... anyways I'm not in the mood."

He scolded himself for all this stupid conversation.

"W-What about... us?"

"W-What?" She blushed.

"Is there still an... us?" He added.

"Mmm..."

He looked at her with his heart pounding on his chest.

«She is going to say no» he said o the people in his mind.

《She deserves to say no, because you are an idiot.》 There is a Minerva on his head now too, I'm sure 《What are we going to do if she says no?》 Head!Minerva asked.

《Nothing, we never do anything anyways.》Gellert answered.

«We do a lot of difficult things... like letting her go, no matter how hard it was.» Albus complained.

《What resulted in staying in your office and almost dying without do anything.》Head!Minerva as harsh as ever.

«Sometimes, not doing things is even harder than actually doing them. » Albus exposed

《If you feel better thinking it that way.》head!Minerva answered sarcastically.

He sighed. It was one of the hardest things he ever had to do to... just sit there and let the time pass just to... protect her. In the end it was not even worth it.

«It was a bad decision, in perspective. I could not... foresee this happening, but... I won't start it again.»

《And... are we going to have her here forever while we see her only in the corridors like until now》Gellert added.

«I tried my best to protect her... It was definitely not my intention to ruin everything» Albus defended himself.

《So you have to do something!》Head!Minerva complained. He squeezed his eyes shut.

"If you think that the answer is no, also think that I'll probably have to do something to make you change your mind."

"Don't you think that... is a little early?" She looked him in the eye.

"I-It is" he nodded. "Chess?"

She sighed.

"You... need to come back to the castle, Minerva"

"As a need? Really?"

"It is not an excuse... just an explanation, but you... need to understand that we have lived this process in a very different way" He blushed softly.

"I would like to know..." she went to take a sit in the sofa.

"What?" he followed her.

"What do you think? How did you lived it? What do you want?"

He swished his wand ant the chess set, including table appeared it was more... relaxing to have all those things there, between them.

Minerva looked the board because... it was something to put between them and it seemed... well, she didn't want to take conclusions

At least he thought that it maybe for her it would be better to have the chess set. And the table. He spent a whole five more seconds thinking about that, just to avoid the subject.

"For me... it was..." he sighed. "Hard"

"But it was what you wanted."

"It was what I thought it would be better for you..." he corrected.

"Aha. And you regret it."

"It was the best thing to do for you, and for him, in the most... rational and logical way" He sighed.

"But..."

"But I think I made a mistake"

"And when did you realize?"

"Quite a long time ago, Minerva" He blushed a bit, thinking that... well...the day of her wedding.

"And you did nothing to correct it."

"You were married."

"The divorce is possible in this country."

"Would you have divorced?"

"I wouldn't marry in first place!"

"I know, I know... but it was what I thought it was better!"

"Well, we never talked about it anyways."

"It wasn't easy for any of us to... talk about us during this time. The only thing I want to say on my favor is that I didn't... I never..." words failed him.

"You don't have to say it." She answered, because she didn't want to hear it again. He sighed and nodded softly.

"Life, though..."

"Life what?"

"It is determined to prove me wrong"

"Well... You were wrong, and now what? You want me again in the school, even if we were working well this way the last two years. "

"We did so many things besides of working before you... left" he did not intend to talk about sex...

"And? Are you planning to do them again?"

"I'm planning to..." He blushed.

"Yes... I could imagine." She stood up again, when she drank her whiskey.

"I'm talking about... life."

"I don't know what you mean. I fact I don't know what you want... or you think. I feel as I don't know you anymore."

He looked at her and swallowed.

"I think that probably I don't know myself anymore" he whispered, sadly. "I'm just lost, and I miss you. I'm a bloody disaster without you"

"And?"

"And... I want you back, not only in the castle. If you want, whenever you want... it's your choice."

"My... choice? This is not my choice."

"It is your choice, you can say no."

"And what if I say no?"

«I told you she was going to say no...»

《We all knew》 answered Gellert

《You have to insist!》 Minerva said.

"I-If you say no... I will deserve it, but...then..."

"Aha?"

"There has to be a way... "

"A way to what?"

He looked at his glass

«Maybe with time... she will learn to appreciate me again and eventually love me»

《Or maybe not》Gellert answered.

He squeezed his eyes shut. She served herself more whiskey.

"Can I... know the reasons of your negative answer?"

"Maybe, after I will give you one."

"You said... you will say no"

"I'm pondering. I just asked what happens if I say no."

He looked at her and realized he had never, EVER been in this position with her.

"And you still not saying... anything."

"I've never been in this position. I... I have no idea on how to convince you to be with me... but you should be."

"Why?"

I know he is unnerving. He intertwined his long fingers and closed his eyes. She stared at him without smiling. Waiting.

"I-I know I have problems, and I am too old, too complicated, a target and... unnerving"

She squinted and he licked his own lips.

"But Minerva... there is no other good way of being..."

She rolled eyes. He looked at her because that was actually a compliment.

"That's the powerful and indisputable best reason that the most brilliant mind of the twenty century can give me? 《That is the way the things are》?"

"I'm saying...You said it, two years ago. I love you and you... " his heart skipped a beat "... loved me back then. Minerva we are... were a... great... couple."

"Do you do it?"

"Do what?" he blushed and squeezed his eyes shut. "L-Love... you?"

"Yes."

"Do you really think that I would've done all of this if I... didn't?"

"I don't know. That's why I ask you... because it seems like you... miss me. And need me. And maybe even want me. But love me? I don't know if I can be sure."

He sighed.

"I've always told you that I'm a broken man. Damaged. And you... you've always have convinced me that I'm able to... be normal" he looked at her. "And Maybe I'm not normal, but I'm... convinced that Whatever I do with you, if it is not love you, It is the most pure thing I can do towards someone."

"Then..." she swallowed "I will ask you again. What if I say no?"

"I will insist and wait and hope until you say yes."

"And... what if I say yes?"

"Then we will... be back to our normal life, I hope. Unless..."

"Aha?"

"Unless you don't like normal life."

"What exactly implies normal life?"

"Well... our normal life. We had... one" he looked at her because he remembers every single detail.

"I know. I want to know what does that mean for you ."

"A... life. To play chess and, talk until the middle of the night sometimes. Minerva..."

"And work..."

"Do you want me to retire?"

"No."

"Do you want to retire? What... can you please tell me what do YOU think?"

"No, until I'm sure of all of this."

He looked at her and she looked him in return.

"Have you missed... something about me?"

"Yes."

"You don't... seem to have..." he added softly.

"Why not?"

"I-I think you miss him. And you have every right... and I'm here, and you honestly don't know what to do with me."

"You are wrong."

"Am I?" He still looked at her SO serious.

"Yes" she was also serious still standing.

"D-Do you still hate me?"

"Yes."

"Do you... only hate me?"

"I asked first"

"What did you ask?"

"The implications of normal life."

"A-Are you talking about... sleeping with me?"

"For example."

"How many times have we slept together, Minerva?"

"I'm not counting."

"No one is... and I don't think no one could. Are you saying you... don't want to? Because I..."

"You what?"

"I have been following that line for the last two years... " It was an attempt of a joke.

She raised an eyebrow and he stood up, but she didn't smile. He smiled at her, a bit sad, and got a step closer.

"It would be easier if you were mad in the... normal mad way."

"But I'm not mad."

"A-Are you... disappointed?" He bit his lip, and got even closer. Until he was able to reach her... with one hand.

She stood there looking at him.

"You are" he whispered, getting even closer.

"Disappointed for what? My husband's death?"

That stung. He looked at her and his heart hurt a bit. You are no longer important... just as you wanted.

"I'm sorry... I'm being self centered and selfish."

"Well... as always."

He raised his hand and placed it on her cheek.

"I- " he cut himself "How do you feel?"

"I feel..." she sighed. He moved his hand and her bun got untight.

"I'm listening" he whispered, hugging her softly.

"I don't know."

"You feel sad? Angry with life? Lonely..."

She... sobbed and he hugged her closer to him, almost engulfing her completely on his arms.

"Shhhh... shhh"

And she hugged him. He kissed her hair, in the same way he would have done when she was twelve.

"It is going to be alright... shhh" he murmured on her ear, reassuringly."He had a great life, you made him the happiest man on earth, and he died doing what he loved... "

She sighed and sobbed a little more.

"But you have every single right to be mad at him for leaving you, and at God for taking him away... and to be sad, this is part of the process" he caressed her back and produced a stars and moons handkerchief that he offered.

"I'm nothing of that."

"Are... You not? Then...?"

"I... need you to answer me."

"Answer you what? I'll answer you whatever you want"

"I need to know your plans."

"Do you want to know if I'm going to do this again to you?"

"Yes"

He swallowed feeling completely awful.

"And not only that... I need to know what's going to happen with us." Minerva added.

"I wish I could see the future..."

"I would like to know your plan."

"It was a hard question. "

"This is a hard situation"

«I'm going to screw it up at some point, and disappoint her, and hurt her» he said for the crowd in his head.

《You mean... again》Gellert answered.

«It was the story of my life. »


	5. Chapter 5

"I desperately try to hurt as less as possible the people I love... to see the big picture, to outsmart life. I always succeed in hurting individuals" he started, softly.

"And?"

"I honestly try to do better over and over again... I don't want to hurt you" he looked at her in the eye.

"I don't want you saying sorry again!"

He looked at her and his eyes filled with tears. She squezzed her eyes when noticed and cleaned one of them with her hand, softly.

"I thought that if you left you would have a better chance to be happy. And at this moment, I don't know what I've done, Minerva... "

"That is not what I asked you."

"I won't push you away again..."

"And what are you going to do with me?"

«Is she talking about marriage?» Albus asked in his head.

《It could be》Head!Minerva pondered.

《But everyone here hopes that she doesn't》Gellert added.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked.

"Are you going to do it if I tell you?"

"Yes" He swallowed.

"And what if you don't like it?"

"We will find a way to negotiate" He licked his lips.

"That's what I am trying to do."

"You can not negotiate if the terms are not clear."

"Exactly."

"Please tell me, what do you want."

"That YOU put on the table what do you want, so I can ponder it."

"I want to have a p-personal, close relationship with you."

"And how is that?"

"As in walking by the arm and spending holidays together and going to the Caribbean in summer, or... visiting your parents."

She sighed... deeply.

"It is not enough, is it?" he hugged her closer.

"It is."

"What do you want?" He sighed.

"I will come."

"I will make you happy" he whispered softly.

"No, you won't, but it will make me feel less bad."

He sighed again with the idea of never being able to make her happy. He was better that nothing, but it was not... enough to actually be happy.

"Next question is... difficult."

"Is it?"

"Do you want to return to you... bedroom?"

She froze.

"Or to mine...?"

"You are... this is a difficult one."

"I just don't want you to feel that... sex is compulsory. Y-You Can sleep with me, just sleep, if you want."

"And what do you want?"

"What I want doesn't matter at this moment" He caressed her cheek softly.

"For me, it matters."

"I would want you to come to my bed... and talk, and to make you smile and relax... and hug you, make you feel... good."

She nodded.

"What do YOU want?"

"That."

"You are just agreeing to whatever I'm saying, dear."

"No, I'm agreeing to exactly that, if you have said something different I would have denied your offer."

He smiled softly and looked at her in the eye.

"But..."

"Yes?" He changed his expression.

"There are... conditions."

"I hear you..."

She looked him in the eye, very serious and... took his hand to make him seat again. He again looked her with a very grave look, and squeezed her hand a bit, following her.

"I know what's going to happen now... and I don't want it." Minerva said.

"Which is that?"

"I'm not going to be the merry widow."

"Are you afraid of what people will say once you go back to the school?"

"I'm not afraid, because they are not going to say anything. Is this point clear enough? They are going to say it anyways, but they won't have any proof."

"What you want then is to... be discreet."

"What I want you is to be discreet, yes, because they will say it anyways... especially Elphinstone's family."

"It is not that we have not been discreet for the last... thirty years, dear."

"More discreet."

"More discreet as in... no one can know?"

"Exactly."

"No one as in... who?"

"No one is no one. Not even Aberforth. Not even Pomona or Poppy."

He raised his eyebrows.

"They are going to... know. At least Pomona, Minerva, it is almost impossible that she doesn't realize it."

"You are getting the idea of discretion that I want."

"You want to have a secret... affair with me. Until when?"

She blushed with the "secret affaire" concept

"Is there any other condition besides not telling anyone?"

"This can not happen again. I will decide EVERYTHING about my... love life."

"But Minerva... you've seen..."

"What?"

"How dangerous I am, I'm still impressed that you have agreed... that can only mean one thing" he brushed one strain of her hair."I'm starting to think I'm some sort of a dark wizard in disguise."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't get mad!" He moved forward and kissed her, softly... on the cheek.

"Are you going to do what I ask you?"

"I am... although probably I will complain."

"Anyways you always complain."

"How on earth can YOU tell me that?!"

"Because you do it."

"You are the one who complains!"

"I also do it, but just to turn you on."

He blushed CRIMSON RED. She did. Oh of course she did, and she knew it.

"I'm not talking about sex..." she said when saw that. Albus squeezed his eyes shut. He was indeed thinking about sex.

"I-I never said anything about sex."

"Why did you blush, then?"

"You said turn me on!" He Complained, because he had tasted her so many times, he knew exactly what was being offered.

"I mean... because you need to do the things in a certain way." Minerva explained. He smiled her.

"I'm awful in every single possible way... "

"Yes" She sighed.

"You are still not smiling... "

"No, I'm not."

"Do you have any other requirement?" He took a deep breath

She shook her head to say no. He wasn't sure if he should do something else. Maybe kiss her, but he didn't dare. Not until she smiled.

"Anyways, I don't know when I will get back" She sighed again.

«I'm not being at all convincing... If something I'm being again disappointing» Albus complained again for advice in his head.

《She doesn't seem disappointed, she seems sad. 》Head!Minerva pondered.

«It must not be easy to lose a husband... even if it is some sort of a forced one»

《And she appreciated him》

"Why don't we play chess... and maybe talk a bit about him" he offered softly because in the end, he was fond of him too and after two whole years, he have learned to get used to him, even as her husband... it was someone that was easy to like, nice and decent, he deserved several toasts in a nice and cheerful afternoon, away from the gloom of the conversation.

"I still don't know if is too much early."

"It's been only a few days, It is normal that you are overwhelmed... but it is also normal that at moments you have the need to feel relaxed and forget the tragedy. What would you thing if it was him? What would you want for him?"

" Do you mean If I would have died instead of him?"

"Yes"

"For sure he wouldn't agree come back to someone else after five days."

"If that someone were you... he would."

"But I was the dead one."

"I'm trying to tell you is that... I know that you are still grieving him... but he knew of me and he knew that you would be sad... and you would need moral comfort."

"That was what all his family said..."

"What did they say?"

"That you are waiting and you will come and... do this and... I will... agreed"

"They talked to you about ME? Were they jealous for him?"

"Of course, everybody knew that..." she squezzed her eyes.

"I'm sure they also knew that once you got married... "

"What?"

"Nothing happened between you and me! It is ridiculous that they are harassing you with me at this moment."

"Elphinstone has been jealous since the last day."

"Oh, come on! Why? He had no reason! He knew we were friends, but we were absolutely incapable." He looked at her in the eye and smiled a bit. "I'm sure he knew how harsh are you!"

"He knew... but anyways" She looked at the floor still without smile.

"Then you moved out from school... were you happy here with him?"

"We had... our moments. Like everyone else"

"Life at the castle was so boring without you... no one can play chess"

"I thought you went with Aberforth sometimes."

"I did... once he allowed me again on his bar, he got mad at me when you got married. I think he hates me even more now after I went there a few times."

"You can't tell him about today or... anything!"

"He would get mad at me if he knew I came here and talked with you about this" he caressed her hair again, not thinking too much.

"I shouldn't have said yes..." she leaned a little on him.

"Let's see... explain me exactly why not. Don't you feel better now?"

"Yes... and that feels awful."

"You feel guilty... " he understood, moving in the sofa so she can lean much better on him. Again, he didn't even think about it, it was really natural. "It is all my fault, you should not feel guilty, I am the one to blame."

"But I'm the one who is doing it now... and was doing it the last two years." Minerva sighed moving a little with him.

"He talked to me before your wedding."

"What did he say?"

"He knew everything... and just wanted a chance to make you happy if I was not going to do it. It was not an easy talk but... you know, I think of he would have had the chance to talk to me before he passed away he would have told me to... stop being stupid and do whatever he was not going to be able to do."

She squeezed her eyes and separated again. He took a deep breath.

"There are two options Insee here, Minerva..."

"What?"

"I've lived my entire life... feeling guilty. For the things I could change and for the things I couldn't"

She stared him, listening.

"You were fair, you were genuine with him, he knew every single aspect of you... and he passed away in an accident that had absolutely nothing to do with you. You can feel guilty for your feelings, or you can move on. One is going to make you happy... the other is going to make your life... how would you call it? A living hell..."

She looked him a little bit sad and then at her hands.

"Take your time to adjust... but do not dig into it. Don't focus too much in your guilt specially when you have someone else to blame... you will end up losing everything you love."

"But... this is like... everybody knew and everybody said and... everybody expected. Me being a cruel and cold wife who only was waiting his death and only was married with him because you rejected me."

"Whaaat?" He looked at her.

"Who was always an idiot who loves a man that it's just... not interested, and never was. And when he finally... could get rid of me... My husband passed away in just two years."

"I was interested!"

She sighed because it didn't matter if he didn't show it.

"You are telling the story in the most dramatic possible way, Minerva! Do you want me to tell It the same way but from my perspective?"

"This is just... what someone deduce of all of this. I know you were interested, but just... not so much as me."

"You cannot measure those things! It is like saying that I loved you more than you did! I refuse to keep talking of us as if everything were bad and dramatic, when we've had our whole life together!" He looked at her.

"I can't measure it but I can compare it."

"I can compare that either... and you win on my list."

"Excuse me?"

"I compare you... and sorry but... I know better than you."

"What do you know better than me?"

"How are things with you, and the different is so big I cannot even have a logical measure!"

"What are you talking about?"

"What are you comparing?"

"You... and me."

"You are always going to measure that incorrectly."

"That is what you say."

"No, I know it because of the way you are, you want to be so objective you are a pessimist."

"Of course I want you to be objective!"

"No, you always think the worst. It is indeed a huge advance that you think now that I actually love you" he looked at her calmly.

"Of course not, I just see the thinks as they are."

"Do you think you have a SPECIAL ability to see things they are that we do not" he smiled a bit. He LOVED to discuss with her, "Minerva, admit that you are always thinking the worst."

"I don't!"

"You still think I asked you to marry him for no reason."

"No, no for any reason, just to have a little peace."

"Peace."

"Yes."

He could hear Gellert laughing on his head with the concept of peace.

"So you think I had two beautiful years of peace... until there was the inconvenience of Elphinstone passing away..." he closed his eyes. "That's pessimistic and I think I don't want to discuss it."

"Yes."

"Come here."

She looked at him and he got closer to her, looking at her in the eye. She put her hands in his shoulders.

He was about to let her see an awful memory of him. When he... thought better. And decided just to get closer and place his lips on hers, softly and she kissed him back.

He felt guilty, and hoped not being too much, not bringing this to the limit. Not make her worse. But would not restrain himself of kissing her DEEPLY as soon as possible.

But she wasn't thinking and he just missed her sooooo much. Also she missed him almost until the craziness.

This is the last time you two play the stupid game of being apart. He is sorry for the memory of Elphinstone but... he only wants to be with her.

She wasn't sorry, she was lost exactly now. And this is what happens when you don't start doing this in the 80s, but... 30 years earlier. He know EXACTLY what to do, without any problem. He doesn't even hesitate, as if he were writing or doing lumos.

Minerva hugged him to get him closer. I think he is a disaster, finishing ridiculously fast, EVEN at his age. Two years of not even touching himself are difficult. It doesn't matter, she was still kissing him and caressing him in the sofa.

Can he stay here forever?

Yes.

She should never EVER listen to him again. EVER

She won't.

No wonder, even HE agrees.

You remember the snow and the bubbles in the shape of hearts? I think tomorrow then room will have a trillion of blossoming flowers around them. Maybe they will wake up in the Caribbean.

Mmmm... I don't think so. In fact, i don't think that they will be on it for so long at it seems-

Phew! Can she smile, please?

No... i'm sorry. Not yet.

He is very, very, VERY worried about that. She has to smile again.

No... At some point, she will do it, eventually, but not yet.

He is going to obsess with that.


End file.
